It's Valentine's Day!
Sana Zahid and Umm Isam uncover the truth behind the chocolate-heart-flavoured Valentine's Day
Love is in the air, so are red hearts of all shapes, sizes, and flavours on billboards and magazine covers! We are not short of better things to think about, it's just that it's Valentine's Day! What we are lately witnessing is pretty astonishing. So, let's unearth some facts about it all. ... read more ...
Happy Valentine's Day?
Laila Brence reflects on her experiences of Valentine's day
Up until my late teens, Valentine’s Day was a stranger to me – I had never witnessed it, never heard of it. Growing up under the Soviet regime, I was ‘programmed’ to know only the Soviet holidays, see only the Soviet cartoons and learn history solely from the Soviet perspective. Although this locked-in environment of communism had disadvantages, through years I’ve come to appreciate its strictness and sober moral norms, as they saved a good portion of my childhood innocence. ... read more ...
A Muslim lifestyle magazine
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
It's Valentine's Day!
By Sana Zahid and Umm Isam
Love is in the air, so are red hearts of all shapes, sizes, and flavours on billboards and magazine covers! We are not short of better things to think about, it's just that it's Valentine's Day! What we are lately witnessing is pretty astonishing. So, let's unearth some facts about it all.
There actually are many traditions about how it all began. The story dates back to the Roman rule - an erotic festival, named after Saint Valentine, who was killed for defying the emperor and allowing young couples to marry secretly. The legend has it that Saint Valentine disobeyed the Emperor Claudius of Rome, who had barred all marriages and engagements within the city, because he thought that love-struck men were not joining his legions. In jail, the bishop is said to have fallen in love with the jailor's daughter. He wrote to her a letter signed ‘Your Valentine,' which since then has become a tradition. However, Saint Valentine was caught and sentenced to death on the 14th of February, 270 AD.
It so happened that the significant day coincided with a festival organized in memory of Juno Februata, the queen of the Roman gods and goddesses. The festival was known as Lupercalia. The Romans used to place the names of young women, who would become their dates for the remaining festival, in a box, and men would draw them at random. However, when Christians came to Rome, they sought to superimpose Christian festivals on different holidays at the time. So, in 496 AD, Pope Gelasius officially replaced this pagan festival with Saint Valentine's Day on the 14th of February.
Pakistan has discovered this phenomenon just recently through the fast paced globalization of foreign products and cultures, which coincides with the media relaxation. Today, on one hand glamorization of this festival offers marketers an opportunity to make money, as love-struck shoppers paint the town red. On the other hand, Muslim communities experience a blatant cultural invasion carrying a loud slogan of vulgar and open dating. This day has come to mean dressing up in red and distributing valentine cards, candy, and chocolate hearts. Through these, apparently innocent acts, a culture of free sex and male-female relations is promoted. Even schools hold such parties for their students. Consequently, young children are fed the idea that it is okay to love anyone and express it openly.
Pseudo intellectuals claim that it is merely an adoption of a joyful custom practiced in a different community - so why do fanatics blow it all out of proportion? However, they seem to have confused themselves. As Muslims, we can have a food fusion, whereby we appreciate the culinary flavours of other countries, as long as they are cooked with permissible ingredients. But how can we have a cultural fusion that promotes immorality? How can they justify one night stands, partner swapping, blind dating, romantic liaisons, etc., and all the filth that follows it. It all tantomounts to illegitimate relations. In Islam, the only permissible relationship between a man and a woman in love is Nikah. Allah has placed a beauty in this special bond that attracts every man and woman. People weave their dreams around it and step into the unknown together. Abdullah bin Abbas (rta) states that the Prophet (saw) said: "We have not witnessed anything better than Nikah for two people in love" (Ibn Majah). Indeed, Nikah means a special beginning for two people. Why opt for immoral options full of hypocrisy and lies?
The societies that celebrate such customs as Valentine's Day have the need for it, because the institution of marriage has collapsed there and a new tradition of partnership has evolved. This tradition of partnership is free of responsibility, time constraints, and commitments. It can easily be defined as an animalistic instinct meant to satisfy the base desires and lusts as in incase of cats and dogs, who continue to have different partners life long.
Modesty, or the concept of Haya, rules supreme in Islam. Even a married couple has been given a set of behaviour rules in public. Their romantic life in private is their personal matter, however, nobody is allowed to create an embarrassing position for those around them, let alone behave flirtatiously.
Last year, while flipping through satellite channels, my friend came across a Valentine show, where the host introduced the show saying: "Today is the Valentine's Day - the day of love and the day of lies, because normally people would be telling lies today." Strange, since this was a program intended to promote the day. However, I can't help to ask, what kind of love is this that is restricted to one day in a year? Have we ever thought of loving the One, Who created us, the One, Who gave us a heart that can feel love? Or are we wasting away a beautiful emotion just for a momentary gratification? We know our Lord loves us more than 70 mothers. Just imagine having the Lord of all the worlds being our friend.
"... Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him). If Allah helps you, none can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, who is there after Him that can help you? And in Allah (alone) let believers put their trust." (Ali- Imran, 3:159-160)
Surely, love directs all matters concerning our lives. Subsequently, this strong feeling, for which we are ready to go to any extent, should be spent properly. Love is precious, so don't let opportunists to take advantage of your tender heart. Express it the Halal way - get married and stay married! Every day of your life can be worth celebrating.
Love is in the air, so are red hearts of all shapes, sizes, and flavours on billboards and magazine covers! We are not short of better things to think about, it's just that it's Valentine's Day! What we are lately witnessing is pretty astonishing. So, let's unearth some facts about it all.
There actually are many traditions about how it all began. The story dates back to the Roman rule - an erotic festival, named after Saint Valentine, who was killed for defying the emperor and allowing young couples to marry secretly. The legend has it that Saint Valentine disobeyed the Emperor Claudius of Rome, who had barred all marriages and engagements within the city, because he thought that love-struck men were not joining his legions. In jail, the bishop is said to have fallen in love with the jailor's daughter. He wrote to her a letter signed ‘Your Valentine,' which since then has become a tradition. However, Saint Valentine was caught and sentenced to death on the 14th of February, 270 AD.
It so happened that the significant day coincided with a festival organized in memory of Juno Februata, the queen of the Roman gods and goddesses. The festival was known as Lupercalia. The Romans used to place the names of young women, who would become their dates for the remaining festival, in a box, and men would draw them at random. However, when Christians came to Rome, they sought to superimpose Christian festivals on different holidays at the time. So, in 496 AD, Pope Gelasius officially replaced this pagan festival with Saint Valentine's Day on the 14th of February.
Pakistan has discovered this phenomenon just recently through the fast paced globalization of foreign products and cultures, which coincides with the media relaxation. Today, on one hand glamorization of this festival offers marketers an opportunity to make money, as love-struck shoppers paint the town red. On the other hand, Muslim communities experience a blatant cultural invasion carrying a loud slogan of vulgar and open dating. This day has come to mean dressing up in red and distributing valentine cards, candy, and chocolate hearts. Through these, apparently innocent acts, a culture of free sex and male-female relations is promoted. Even schools hold such parties for their students. Consequently, young children are fed the idea that it is okay to love anyone and express it openly.
Pseudo intellectuals claim that it is merely an adoption of a joyful custom practiced in a different community - so why do fanatics blow it all out of proportion? However, they seem to have confused themselves. As Muslims, we can have a food fusion, whereby we appreciate the culinary flavours of other countries, as long as they are cooked with permissible ingredients. But how can we have a cultural fusion that promotes immorality? How can they justify one night stands, partner swapping, blind dating, romantic liaisons, etc., and all the filth that follows it. It all tantomounts to illegitimate relations. In Islam, the only permissible relationship between a man and a woman in love is Nikah. Allah has placed a beauty in this special bond that attracts every man and woman. People weave their dreams around it and step into the unknown together. Abdullah bin Abbas (rta) states that the Prophet (saw) said: "We have not witnessed anything better than Nikah for two people in love" (Ibn Majah). Indeed, Nikah means a special beginning for two people. Why opt for immoral options full of hypocrisy and lies?
The societies that celebrate such customs as Valentine's Day have the need for it, because the institution of marriage has collapsed there and a new tradition of partnership has evolved. This tradition of partnership is free of responsibility, time constraints, and commitments. It can easily be defined as an animalistic instinct meant to satisfy the base desires and lusts as in incase of cats and dogs, who continue to have different partners life long.
Modesty, or the concept of Haya, rules supreme in Islam. Even a married couple has been given a set of behaviour rules in public. Their romantic life in private is their personal matter, however, nobody is allowed to create an embarrassing position for those around them, let alone behave flirtatiously.
Last year, while flipping through satellite channels, my friend came across a Valentine show, where the host introduced the show saying: "Today is the Valentine's Day - the day of love and the day of lies, because normally people would be telling lies today." Strange, since this was a program intended to promote the day. However, I can't help to ask, what kind of love is this that is restricted to one day in a year? Have we ever thought of loving the One, Who created us, the One, Who gave us a heart that can feel love? Or are we wasting away a beautiful emotion just for a momentary gratification? We know our Lord loves us more than 70 mothers. Just imagine having the Lord of all the worlds being our friend.
"... Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him). If Allah helps you, none can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, who is there after Him that can help you? And in Allah (alone) let believers put their trust." (Ali- Imran, 3:159-160)
Surely, love directs all matters concerning our lives. Subsequently, this strong feeling, for which we are ready to go to any extent, should be spent properly. Love is precious, so don't let opportunists to take advantage of your tender heart. Express it the Halal way - get married and stay married! Every day of your life can be worth celebrating.
Happy Valentine's Day?
By Laila Brence
Up until my late teens, Valentine’s Day was a stranger to me – I had never witnessed it, never heard of it. Growing up under the Soviet regime, I was ‘programmed’ to know only the Soviet holidays, see only the Soviet cartoons and learn history solely from the Soviet perspective. Although this locked-in environment of communism had disadvantages, through years I’ve come to appreciate its strictness and sober moral norms, as they saved a good portion of my childhood innocence.
I came to know Valentine’s Day through the several times I went for studies to America. Coming from a country which had just shaken off the chains of the communist regime, I found America with its pompous culture of exaggerated celebrations quite alien. I felt somewhat lost in the dating culture tension of high school life and the many high school dances, to which only ‘couples’ were welcomed. “Sweethearts Dance” for celebrating Valentine’s Day was pretty much about showing off your ‘special person’ to the rest of the school. All the talks of celebrating the beauty of love faded into the background in the wake of this plain and straight-forward propaganda of teenage dating culture.
Later, during the years at university, I learned yet new angles of what Valentine’s Day meant for common Americans. Living in Minneapolis with its “The Mall of America” (the biggest shopping mall in the country), I clearly saw how businesses were cashing in on people’s romantic feelings. Sasha, my exchange student friend from Russia, who worked at “The Mall”, admitted that the holiday seasons were a nightmare for her. Were it Easter, Christmas or Valentine’s Day, the whole mall was transformed into a money sucking machine, mesmerizing the unaware customers with Christmas trees, eggs, bunnies, hearts and the music of the season into opening their wallets for the sake of… spending money, of course! If for customers the red hearts and love songs added a pleasant touch to their Valentine’s Day’s shopping spree, to Sasha such daily diets created a clear aversion.
My American roommate Sarah, a graduate student of sociology, quite shocked me with her perception of what Valentine’s Day could be about. One day, as we were sitting and talking in our living-room, she showed me some booklets on ‘safe’ sex and said that she would mail them as a Valentine’s Day gift to her niece, who had just entered her teens. “Nobody else is going to tell her about this anyway, so I thought I should help her out,” was Sarah’s rationale. I couldn’t believe my own ears! I learned that Valentine’s Day was also about promoting the responsibility-free and commitment-free partnerships.
However, I was hard hit by the reality of this partnership culture through my other roommate Cathy, a Ph.D. student of geophysics. Cathy was a very bright student, but she had some psychological issues and was on daily anti-depressant drugs. For most of the January university vacation, I was out of the country, so I was unaware of what was going on in her life. One evening, just a few days after I returned, Cathy came to me with a bottle of medicine in her hand and asked me to count, how many pills were left. After I counted them, she realized that about thirty pills were missing. She told me that her boy-friend had left her and she felt so depressed that she just kept on taking these pills in an attempt to calm down her emotions. Thank God I had a driver’s license and could drive her in her own car to the nearest emergency room, where she was transferred to the psychiatric ward for a few days. Doctors had diagnosed her as attempting to commit suicide. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I was not ready to buy into talks of spreading love in humanity, because with my own eyes I had seen the reality of the dating culture this celebration stood for.
May be my angle on Valentine’s Day is quite unusual, but it is the one that I have come to experience. So whenever I hear ‘Happy Valentine’s Day!’ I feel like the statement should end with a question mark.
Up until my late teens, Valentine’s Day was a stranger to me – I had never witnessed it, never heard of it. Growing up under the Soviet regime, I was ‘programmed’ to know only the Soviet holidays, see only the Soviet cartoons and learn history solely from the Soviet perspective. Although this locked-in environment of communism had disadvantages, through years I’ve come to appreciate its strictness and sober moral norms, as they saved a good portion of my childhood innocence.
I came to know Valentine’s Day through the several times I went for studies to America. Coming from a country which had just shaken off the chains of the communist regime, I found America with its pompous culture of exaggerated celebrations quite alien. I felt somewhat lost in the dating culture tension of high school life and the many high school dances, to which only ‘couples’ were welcomed. “Sweethearts Dance” for celebrating Valentine’s Day was pretty much about showing off your ‘special person’ to the rest of the school. All the talks of celebrating the beauty of love faded into the background in the wake of this plain and straight-forward propaganda of teenage dating culture.
Later, during the years at university, I learned yet new angles of what Valentine’s Day meant for common Americans. Living in Minneapolis with its “The Mall of America” (the biggest shopping mall in the country), I clearly saw how businesses were cashing in on people’s romantic feelings. Sasha, my exchange student friend from Russia, who worked at “The Mall”, admitted that the holiday seasons were a nightmare for her. Were it Easter, Christmas or Valentine’s Day, the whole mall was transformed into a money sucking machine, mesmerizing the unaware customers with Christmas trees, eggs, bunnies, hearts and the music of the season into opening their wallets for the sake of… spending money, of course! If for customers the red hearts and love songs added a pleasant touch to their Valentine’s Day’s shopping spree, to Sasha such daily diets created a clear aversion.
My American roommate Sarah, a graduate student of sociology, quite shocked me with her perception of what Valentine’s Day could be about. One day, as we were sitting and talking in our living-room, she showed me some booklets on ‘safe’ sex and said that she would mail them as a Valentine’s Day gift to her niece, who had just entered her teens. “Nobody else is going to tell her about this anyway, so I thought I should help her out,” was Sarah’s rationale. I couldn’t believe my own ears! I learned that Valentine’s Day was also about promoting the responsibility-free and commitment-free partnerships.
However, I was hard hit by the reality of this partnership culture through my other roommate Cathy, a Ph.D. student of geophysics. Cathy was a very bright student, but she had some psychological issues and was on daily anti-depressant drugs. For most of the January university vacation, I was out of the country, so I was unaware of what was going on in her life. One evening, just a few days after I returned, Cathy came to me with a bottle of medicine in her hand and asked me to count, how many pills were left. After I counted them, she realized that about thirty pills were missing. She told me that her boy-friend had left her and she felt so depressed that she just kept on taking these pills in an attempt to calm down her emotions. Thank God I had a driver’s license and could drive her in her own car to the nearest emergency room, where she was transferred to the psychiatric ward for a few days. Doctors had diagnosed her as attempting to commit suicide. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I was not ready to buy into talks of spreading love in humanity, because with my own eyes I had seen the reality of the dating culture this celebration stood for.
May be my angle on Valentine’s Day is quite unusual, but it is the one that I have come to experience. So whenever I hear ‘Happy Valentine’s Day!’ I feel like the statement should end with a question mark.
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