By Umm Isam
Hiba (Jan/Feb/March, 2012)
Maurice Baring once said: “If you would know what the Lord thinks of money, you have only to look at those to whom He gives it.” I couldn’t help but laugh heartily. Scores of people scanned past my eyes, whom I would feel most undeserving of the privileges they enjoy, yet there they are rich and rolling in bucks. Who are we to say?
Now, let’s think in terms of our personal relationships and explore, whether money really makes a marriage happier.
In at-Tabaqat, it is narrated that Fatima (rtaf), the Prophet’s (saw) daughter, used to go hungry for days. On a particular day, Ali (rtam) noticed that she looked very pale and weak. He enquired: “What is the matter with you, Fatima?” Fatima (rtaf) answered: “It has been three days, and we haven’t found anything to eat in the house.” Ali (rtam) asked: “Why didn’t you inform me?” She replied: “On the night of our wedding, my father, the Messenger of Allah (saw), advised me: ‘O Fatima, if Ali brings you something, then eat it, and if he does not, then do not ask him.’”
How many of us have had to starve for weeks? The gravest challenge that we might face is living within our means. And, believe me, if we brace ourselves and our children for some sacrifice, patience, conditioning and a shift in our perception of ourselves and others, we can live within any income. Try living by the following rules and experience the liberation yourself.
1. Give yourself no option but to live within your income. Looking in all directions for aid and waiting for someone to bail you out (parents, siblings and friends) should be completely unacceptable to yourself.
2. Take pride in your husband’s abilities and what he is able to bring to the family. If you wear a cotton outfit and your sister wears silk, it is not your husband’s incapability to provide for more. Rather, cotton is what Allah (swt) ordained for you.
3. Spend time in the company of those, who are content with their provisions, rather than people, who complain to death. Contentment doesn’t mean being unambitious; it means submitting to Allah’s (swt) will and being happy with it.
4. Always remember our Prophet (saw) chose poverty over riches of the world. There is great wisdom behind it. If you own little, you will be accountable for less.
5. Do not choose a lifestyle that is not supported by your income. It will ensure your misery, family-rifts and may open doors to Haram (impermissible) earnings.
6. Never befriend people, who size you up by the weight of your wallet. They are truly imposters. If someone loves your family, they will accept you the way you are.
Similarly, although Islam doesn’t allow severing familial ties, you can restrict your family’s involvement with relatives, if you fear falling into Hasad (envy) or competing in a rat race.
Try to stay off TV, magazines and any public places that tempt you and your family with their hypnotizing lures.
Pray to Allah (swt) for a content and peaceful heart that longs to stay happy in whatever circumstances Allah (swt) keeps it.
Lastly, a widow once shared: “Each morning, it should be enough for every wife to find her husband beside her, breathing. For, many women have been deprived of this blessing, as their better halves left them alone on this journey of life.”
Hiba (Jan/Feb/March, 2012)
Maurice Baring once said: “If you would know what the Lord thinks of money, you have only to look at those to whom He gives it.” I couldn’t help but laugh heartily. Scores of people scanned past my eyes, whom I would feel most undeserving of the privileges they enjoy, yet there they are rich and rolling in bucks. Who are we to say?
Now, let’s think in terms of our personal relationships and explore, whether money really makes a marriage happier.
In at-Tabaqat, it is narrated that Fatima (rtaf), the Prophet’s (saw) daughter, used to go hungry for days. On a particular day, Ali (rtam) noticed that she looked very pale and weak. He enquired: “What is the matter with you, Fatima?” Fatima (rtaf) answered: “It has been three days, and we haven’t found anything to eat in the house.” Ali (rtam) asked: “Why didn’t you inform me?” She replied: “On the night of our wedding, my father, the Messenger of Allah (saw), advised me: ‘O Fatima, if Ali brings you something, then eat it, and if he does not, then do not ask him.’”
How many of us have had to starve for weeks? The gravest challenge that we might face is living within our means. And, believe me, if we brace ourselves and our children for some sacrifice, patience, conditioning and a shift in our perception of ourselves and others, we can live within any income. Try living by the following rules and experience the liberation yourself.
1. Give yourself no option but to live within your income. Looking in all directions for aid and waiting for someone to bail you out (parents, siblings and friends) should be completely unacceptable to yourself.
2. Take pride in your husband’s abilities and what he is able to bring to the family. If you wear a cotton outfit and your sister wears silk, it is not your husband’s incapability to provide for more. Rather, cotton is what Allah (swt) ordained for you.
3. Spend time in the company of those, who are content with their provisions, rather than people, who complain to death. Contentment doesn’t mean being unambitious; it means submitting to Allah’s (swt) will and being happy with it.
4. Always remember our Prophet (saw) chose poverty over riches of the world. There is great wisdom behind it. If you own little, you will be accountable for less.
5. Do not choose a lifestyle that is not supported by your income. It will ensure your misery, family-rifts and may open doors to Haram (impermissible) earnings.
6. Never befriend people, who size you up by the weight of your wallet. They are truly imposters. If someone loves your family, they will accept you the way you are.
Similarly, although Islam doesn’t allow severing familial ties, you can restrict your family’s involvement with relatives, if you fear falling into Hasad (envy) or competing in a rat race.
Try to stay off TV, magazines and any public places that tempt you and your family with their hypnotizing lures.
Pray to Allah (swt) for a content and peaceful heart that longs to stay happy in whatever circumstances Allah (swt) keeps it.
Lastly, a widow once shared: “Each morning, it should be enough for every wife to find her husband beside her, breathing. For, many women have been deprived of this blessing, as their better halves left them alone on this journey of life.”
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