Are we just "Ramadan Muslims"?

Kiran Ansari invites to re-evaluate the attractions of Ramadan and offers tips for keeping the spirit of the blessed month in our hearts all year long.

We wait anxiously for Ramadan - and before we know it, it has come and gone; faster than the year before. Irrespective of how religiously inclined one is, most Muslims enjoy the spirit of Ramadan. The question is - what exactly do we enjoy?

Is it the atmosphere of peace and harmony or is it the fruit Chaat and Pakoras? Is it the coming together of the community for Taraweeh or is it the lavish Iftar parties? Is it the awareness of the extra reward or is it the quest for a short-cut to Jannah?

As quickly as the blessed month comes and goes, why does the zeal with which we connect to Allah (swt) start evaporating as well? Are we just ‘Ramadan Muslims'?

Ramadan should not be our cultural festival, where talks about food and Eid shopping rule our minds. Ramadan should not be mechanical worship, where we program our bodies to perform some extra Nawafil for a month. Ramadan should also not be a time for display, where we boast about our Siyam in the day and Qiyam in the night or revel in our accomplishments.

What we gain from Ramadan depends a lot on our intentions. Did we want to reestablish our connection with the Quran and its Author, or did we want to join friends in losing a few pounds? Did we want to train our Nafs, or did we want to put in some effort and then rest easy for the remainder of the year?

The actual purpose of Ramadan is to train ourselves by setting aside time from our fast-paced lives and recharging our rusty batteries, in order to be prepared for the whole year. Shaitan is chained, our lives are more disciplined, and our hearts - softer. It might be unrealistic to expect the same level of enthusiasm throughout the year, as Allah (swt) has blessed these 29 or 30 days with His special mercy. Nevertheless, we can try to reap at least part of the benefits throughout our lives. Who knows, if we will be around next Ramadan?

"Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate (from the truth) after You have guided us, and grant us mercy from You. Truly, You are the Bestower." (Ali-Imran 3:8)

Perhaps, wisdom behind the extra worship and reward associated with the last ten nights of Ramadan is to remind us not to slack right after Eid. We might reach our peak of Ibadah in search of Layaltul Qadr, but we must remind ourselves not to make our graph plummet soon after. Perhaps, the recommended six fasts of Shawaal are also intended to keep our memories of fasting fresh.

Here are some tips for helping us keep the spirit of Ramadan alive:

• Instead of storing the Quran in a velvet cover on the highest shelf for the eleven months following Ramadan or feeling that you have done a lot in this month, Imam Ghazali says: “Our heart should be like a pendulum - swinging to and fro, praying and hoping that our worship was accepted. If we were able to achieve some goals, it wasn't because of our strength but rather the Bounty of Allah, Who gave us the opportunity, willingness, and ability to do so. Without all three, we would not have been able to reap any benefits from Ramadan.”
• When one is sent on a one month training course, one is expected to return with knowledge to make ones work productive as well as pass that knowledge on. So, evaluate what you gained from Ramadan, practice it in your daily life and spread the word.
• Don't waste all your efforts on the Eid day. For instance, if you intended to dress more modestly in Ramadan, don't let your Eid attire and make-up wash it all away. If you shared meals with the less fortunate in Ramadan, don't let your Eid party guest list include the affluent friends only.
• If you are unable to continue reading as much of the Quran after Ramadan, don't just abandon it because you consider too little of it to be pointless. The Prophet (saw) recommended deeds that were small but regular. Understanding five Ayahs daily might make more of a difference than five chapters read speedily in one night. If you do not have the time for a week-long Itekaf, make Niyah for a mini-Itekaf lasting a few hours, when you disconnect with the world to connect with your Lord.
• Islam is a Deen of moderation; therefore, set realistic and achievable goals and take it from there. Try to start fasting Mondays and Thursdays, as was the Prophet's (saw) Sunnah, or add just two extra Nafl in your prayers.
• Maintain ties with your buddies from Taraweeh and remind one another to keep check of each other's good deeds. Organize a weekly study circle or a monthly Islamic book club, where you all meet to discuss a particular book.
• Strengthen the relationship you established with your Rabb, the Quran and the community. Do not say good-bye to the Masjid after the Eid prayers.
• Our Ramadan training course is meant to ensure we adhere to our manual - the Quran - throughout the year. We are not just Saturday or Sunday worshippers. Consider Ramadan as the down payment on your house. Regardless of how hefty the down payment may be, if we fail to keep up with regular monthly installments for several years, our house can be taken away from us.

Ramadan is like the spring of good deeds, when acts of kindness are in full bloom, and certain fruits and vegetables are at their peak of ripeness. They are there for us to reap and enjoy their goodness in numerous ways.

Let us add some preservatives to our Ramadan Ibadah to make the rewards last throughout the year.

Rulings on the six fasts of Shawwal

Abu Ayyub al-Ansari (rta) reported Allah's Messenger (saw) as saying: "He who observed the fast of Ramadan and then followed it with six (fasts) of Shawwal, it would be as if he fasted perpetually."

(Saheeh Al Muslim, Book #006, Hadith #2614)

Reward on fasting six days of the month of Shawwaal - answer by Dr. Muhammad Salaah:

 

Question and answers about the six fasts of Shawwaal:

The virtue of fasting six days of Shawwaal
http://islamqa.com/en/ref/7859/Shawwaal

When should a Muslim start fasting six days of Shawwaal?
http://islamqa.com/en/ref/7860/Shawwaal

Combining three of the six days of Shawwaal with the Ayyaam al-Beed
http://islamqa.com/en/ref/4015/Shawwaal

Do the six days of Shawwaal have to be fasted consecutively?
http://islamqa.com/en/ref/7858/Shawwaal

Throwing an Eid party for kids

Do you wish to make a special Eid for your kids? Uzma Rizvi shares some excellent ideas!

Eid is the time for celebration and delight, showing our gratitude to Allah (swt), meeting relatives and friends, and sharing with the needy. As parents, we would like our children to have a meaningful time on this most joyous of occasions. So, why not make your kids' Eid memorable and filled with fun by throwing a party for them and their friends? Here are a few ideas for creating an enthralling Eid party.

Eid Related Party Decorations

• Put up posters of Eid greetings in 3-4 different languages, such as Arabic, Urdu, English, etc. This will be a good conversation starter.
• If budget allows, create an Arabian Peninsula look with a tent in the corner, date trees, etc.
• Put up colourful lights in the party area.
• Hang little paper-made crescents with buntings and tinsels.

Theme-Based Eid Parties

Older kids (7-12 years old) can have an Eid party around a special theme:

• Islamic attire theme. Children could come wearing clothes from different Islamic countries. You can also ask them to come in special Islamic head coverings, such as topis, turbans or Arab headgear for boys and pretty scarves for girls.
• Muslim country theme. Ask the kids to bring along something related to any Muslim country of their choice (a flag, a book, crafts, photographs, etc.) They can paste the country's name on the objects and display them during the party.
• Theme of foods mentioned in the Quran and Sunnah. Serve honey, pomegranates, dates, olives, olive oil, etc. Posters, wax replicas, and paper cutouts of the fruits and vegetables can be used as decorations.
• Sharing the joy of Eid theme. Mothers and older children can have an Eid party at the local hospital or orphanage. They can take some eatables and gifts for the needy kids.

Gaming Zone

What's a kids' party without games? You can mould some of the games to give them an Islamic colour.

Games for younger and older kids:

• Quiz between two teams on Islamic knowledge. Ask simple, age-appropriate questions about Muslim countries, Islamic practices, simple Duas, etc.
• Story time. Read a story on any of the prophets or companions.
• Passing the pillow. Short questions about the likes and dislikes of the Prophet Muhammad (saw), about his family and more.
• Lemon in a spoon race.
• Treasure hunt.
• Memory game. Place objects in a tray and show to each child for 10 seconds. Later, ask them to write down the items they can remember.
• Drawing competition. Topics can be: what you did on Eid, what you ate on Eid, making an Eid card for your parents, grandparents or best friend.

Games for mothers and kids together:

• Draw four pictures of Islamic objects on large sheets of paper, for example, a Masjid, a prayer mat, a Hijab, Kabah. Get four parents to hold up a picture in each corner of the room (if the place is small, in different rooms - make sure hallways are clear). Stand in the centre and call out one of the names - children then should run as fast as they can to that corner. You can also use Arabic names or draw sites of Islamic importance, such as the sacred mosques. Keep the game short and fast.
• Charades. Each mom will have to act out a word to make her team guess what the word is. For instance, the word ‘Wudu' can be demonstrated by doing the actions of the ablution.
• Gifts for the poor. A table can be laid out with some fruits, small packs of biscuits or chips, toys etc. With mom's help, each child can pack a small goody bag and take it home for giving to the servants, who work in their house. This will apprise the child with a sense of sharing and caring for the deprived ones.

Ideas for Goody Bags or Give-Aways

Kids always love taking home a reminder of the party. According to your pocket, you can prepare the goody bags matching the Eid mood of the party.

Big budget

CD of "Sound Vision"

Audiotape of "Sound Vision"

Some religious activity book, e.g., flowers of Islam series

Stationary set

Toys

Chocolates

Biscuits

Economical budget

Stickers (I love Allah, etc.)

A set of three religious activity sheets

Some other religious souvenir (key chain)

Stationary items

Balloons

Chocolates

Biscuits

Want More Ideas?

• Play children's Islamic songs in the background.
• At the prayer time, offer Salah in congregation. (Moms and children together.)
• Children can have a camel ride, if it can be arranged.

Story Time with a Difference

Beforehand, prepare a simple story with four main characters or objects - for example, a boy's name, a prayer cap, a Masjid, the Quran. Build a story around them. Draw or write each character / object on a card. The more children you have for this game, the better, so that there are 3 or 5 ‘Masjids', 3 or 4 ‘prayer caps,' etc. Get the children to sit on chairs in a circle with spaces between the chairs. Begin to tell the story. As the children hear their card name mentioned, they have to get up, run around the circle, and sit back down again.

(Courtesy: http://www.islamichomeeducation.co.uk/)

Yummy Foods

Here are ideas to satisfy those growling tummies:

Finger food for 3-6 years olds

• Mini pizzas
• French fries
• Nuggets
• Sandwiches
• Boiled sweet potatoes
• Seasonal fruits

Kids food for 7-9 and 10-12 years olds

• Kebabs
• Burgers or bun kebabs
• Rolls
• Cholay
• Samosas

Months and More

Sabahat Anwar explores the meanings, significance and historical background of Islamic months. Jumâdal Ûlâ - 5th month of the Islamic calendar Meaning: Jumad means ‘freezing'. When the months were being named, this month fell during winter - when water freezes; hence it was named Jumadal Ula. Jumâdal Akhir- 6th month of the Islamic calendar Meaning: This month occurred towards the end of winter - when water freezes, hence it was named Jumadal Akhir. Worship: No ibadat has been specified for the above two months, but as mentioned before, fasts on Mondays and Thursdays, when gates of Paradise are opened and on Ayaam-e-Bidh (13th, 14th and 15th of each month) should be observed as per Prophet Muhammad's (saw) practice. Rajab - 7th month of the Islamic calendar Allah with His perfect wisdom and knowledge has chosen and preferred some days and months to others. He states in Quran, "Verily, the number of months with Allah is twelve months (in a year), so it was ordained by Allah on the Day when He created the heavens and the earth; of them four are Sacred. That is the right religion, so wrong not yourselves therein..." (Surah At-Tawbah 9:36)   The names of these four months, of which Rajab is one, are mentioned in the following Hadeeth: Abu Bakrah (RTA) reported that the Prophet (saw) gave his Farewell Sermon and said: "Time has completed its cycle and is as it was on the Day when Allah created the heavens and the earth. The year is twelve months, of which four are sacred, three consecutive months - Dhul-Qa'dah, Dhul-Hijjah and Muharram - and the Rajab of Mudar which comes between Jumaada and Sha'baan." (Muslim and Bukhari) Meaning: Rajab has the following meanings: To ‘respect': Since the Arab tribe of Mudar respected and venerated this month a lot, they named it ‘Rajab' (of Mudar). It is the name of a river in Jannah in which exceptionally sweet water, whiter than milk, flows. Fasting in this month will, inshallah, enable us to have the honour of drinking from this river. A year before migration, in the month of Rajab, the Prophet (saw) made a miraculous journey on a white winged animal, ‘Al-Buraq', up through the seven heavens and into the presence of Allah - all in one night. This journey is known as ‘Mairaj'. Allah gave the Prophet (saw) three gifts on this occasion: The ending Ayahs (last Ruku) of Surah Baqarah. The good news of salvation to those of his Ummah who do not commit Shirk. The compulsory five times Salâh. This is the only act of worship, from among the pillars of Islam, which was made obligatory before the Hijrah. It's a miraculous gift for Muslims - a chance to be near Allah as the Prophet (saw) was on that miraculous night. Worship: Despite beliefs to the contrary, learned scholars say that nowhere in the Sunnah do we find that the Prophet (saw) fasted on the twenty-seventh of Rajab. No Ibadat has been specified for this month.  The Prophet (saw) also did not fast for three consecutive months (i.e., Rajab, Sha'baan and Ramadan) as some people do, and he never fasted Rajab at all, nor did he encourage people to fast this month. (related by Imam ibn al Qayyim)   Sacrifices should not be made because of the month of Rajab either. The Prophet (saw) said, "Offer sacrifices, no matter which month is it..." (Abu Dawood, Al-Nasai and Ibn Majah)

Let's Talk about Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day!
Sana Zahid and Umm Isam uncover the truth behind the chocolate-heart-flavoured Valentine's Day

Love is in the air, so are red hearts of all shapes, sizes, and flavours on billboards and magazine covers! We are not short of better things to think about, it's just that it's Valentine's Day! What we are lately witnessing is pretty astonishing. So, let's unearth some facts about it all. ... read more ...

Happy Valentine's Day?
Laila Brence reflects on her experiences of Valentine's day

Up until my late teens, Valentine’s Day was a stranger to me – I had never witnessed it, never heard of it. Growing up under the Soviet regime, I was ‘programmed’ to know only the Soviet holidays, see only the Soviet cartoons and learn history solely from the Soviet perspective. Although this locked-in environment of communism had disadvantages, through years I’ve come to appreciate its strictness and sober moral norms, as they saved a good portion of my childhood innocence. ... read more ...

It's Valentine's Day!

By Sana Zahid and Umm Isam

Love is in the air, so are red hearts of all shapes, sizes, and flavours on billboards and magazine covers! We are not short of better things to think about, it's just that it's Valentine's Day! What we are lately witnessing is pretty astonishing. So, let's unearth some facts about it all.

There actually are many traditions about how it all began. The story dates back to the Roman rule - an erotic festival, named after Saint Valentine, who was killed for defying the emperor and allowing young couples to marry secretly. The legend has it that Saint Valentine disobeyed the Emperor Claudius of Rome, who had barred all marriages and engagements within the city, because he thought that love-struck men were not joining his legions. In jail, the bishop is said to have fallen in love with the jailor's daughter. He wrote to her a letter signed ‘Your Valentine,' which since then has become a tradition. However, Saint Valentine was caught and sentenced to death on the 14th of February, 270 AD.

It so happened that the significant day coincided with a festival organized in memory of Juno Februata, the queen of the Roman gods and goddesses. The festival was known as Lupercalia. The Romans used to place the names of young women, who would become their dates for the remaining festival, in a box, and men would draw them at random. However, when Christians came to Rome, they sought to superimpose Christian festivals on different holidays at the time. So, in 496 AD, Pope Gelasius officially replaced this pagan festival with Saint Valentine's Day on the 14th of February.

Pakistan has discovered this phenomenon just recently through the fast paced globalization of foreign products and cultures, which coincides with the media relaxation. Today, on one hand glamorization of this festival offers marketers an opportunity to make money, as love-struck shoppers paint the town red. On the other hand, Muslim communities experience a blatant cultural invasion carrying a loud slogan of vulgar and open dating. This day has come to mean dressing up in red and distributing valentine cards, candy, and chocolate hearts. Through these, apparently innocent acts, a culture of free sex and male-female relations is promoted. Even schools hold such parties for their students. Consequently, young children are fed the idea that it is okay to love anyone and express it openly.

Pseudo intellectuals claim that it is merely an adoption of a joyful custom practiced in a different community - so why do fanatics blow it all out of proportion? However, they seem to have confused themselves. As Muslims, we can have a food fusion, whereby we appreciate the culinary flavours of other countries, as long as they are cooked with permissible ingredients. But how can we have a cultural fusion that promotes immorality? How can they justify one night stands, partner swapping, blind dating, romantic liaisons, etc., and all the filth that follows it. It all tantomounts to illegitimate relations. In Islam, the only permissible relationship between a man and a woman in love is Nikah. Allah has placed a beauty in this special bond that attracts every man and woman. People weave their dreams around it and step into the unknown together. Abdullah bin Abbas (rta) states that the Prophet (saw) said: "We have not witnessed anything better than Nikah for two people in love" (Ibn Majah). Indeed, Nikah means a special beginning for two people. Why opt for immoral options full of hypocrisy and lies?

The societies that celebrate such customs as Valentine's Day have the need for it, because the institution of marriage has collapsed there and a new tradition of partnership has evolved. This tradition of partnership is free of responsibility, time constraints, and commitments. It can easily be defined as an animalistic instinct meant to satisfy the base desires and lusts as in incase of cats and dogs, who continue to have different partners life long.

Modesty, or the concept of Haya, rules supreme in Islam. Even a married couple has been given a set of behaviour rules in public. Their romantic life in private is their personal matter, however, nobody is allowed to create an embarrassing position for those around them, let alone behave flirtatiously.

Last year, while flipping through satellite channels, my friend came across a Valentine show, where the host introduced the show saying: "Today is the Valentine's Day - the day of love and the day of lies, because normally people would be telling lies today." Strange, since this was a program intended to promote the day. However, I can't help to ask, what kind of love is this that is restricted to one day in a year? Have we ever thought of loving the One, Who created us, the One, Who gave us a heart that can feel love? Or are we wasting away a beautiful emotion just for a momentary gratification? We know our Lord loves us more than 70 mothers. Just imagine having the Lord of all the worlds being our friend.

"... Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him). If Allah helps you, none can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, who is there after Him that can help you? And in Allah (alone) let believers put their trust." (Ali- Imran, 3:159-160)

Surely, love directs all matters concerning our lives. Subsequently, this strong feeling, for which we are ready to go to any extent, should be spent properly. Love is precious, so don't let opportunists to take advantage of your tender heart. Express it the Halal way - get married and stay married! Every day of your life can be worth celebrating.

Happy Valentine's Day?

By Laila Brence

Up until my late teens, Valentine’s Day was a stranger to me – I had never witnessed it, never heard of it. Growing up under the Soviet regime, I was ‘programmed’ to know only the Soviet holidays, see only the Soviet cartoons and learn history solely from the Soviet perspective. Although this locked-in environment of communism had disadvantages, through years I’ve come to appreciate its strictness and sober moral norms, as they saved a good portion of my childhood innocence.

I came to know Valentine’s Day through the several times I went for studies to America. Coming from a country which had just shaken off the chains of the communist regime, I found America with its pompous culture of exaggerated celebrations quite alien. I felt somewhat lost in the dating culture tension of high school life and the many high school dances, to which only ‘couples’ were welcomed. “Sweethearts Dance” for celebrating Valentine’s Day was pretty much about showing off your ‘special person’ to the rest of the school. All the talks of celebrating the beauty of love faded into the background in the wake of this plain and straight-forward propaganda of teenage dating culture.

Later, during the years at university, I learned yet new angles of what Valentine’s Day meant for common Americans. Living in Minneapolis with its “The Mall of America” (the biggest shopping mall in the country), I clearly saw how businesses were cashing in on people’s romantic feelings. Sasha, my exchange student friend from Russia, who worked at “The Mall”, admitted that the holiday seasons were a nightmare for her. Were it Easter, Christmas or Valentine’s Day, the whole mall was transformed into a money sucking machine, mesmerizing the unaware customers with Christmas trees, eggs, bunnies, hearts and the music of the season into opening their wallets for the sake of… spending money, of course! If for customers the red hearts and love songs added a pleasant touch to their Valentine’s Day’s shopping spree, to Sasha such daily diets created a clear aversion.

My American roommate Sarah, a graduate student of sociology, quite shocked me with her perception of what Valentine’s Day could be about. One day, as we were sitting and talking in our living-room, she showed me some booklets on ‘safe’ sex and said that she would mail them as a Valentine’s Day gift to her niece, who had just entered her teens. “Nobody else is going to tell her about this anyway, so I thought I should help her out,” was Sarah’s rationale. I couldn’t believe my own ears! I learned that Valentine’s Day was also about promoting the responsibility-free and commitment-free partnerships.

However, I was hard hit by the reality of this partnership culture through my other roommate Cathy, a Ph.D. student of geophysics. Cathy was a very bright student, but she had some psychological issues and was on daily anti-depressant drugs. For most of the January university vacation, I was out of the country, so I was unaware of what was going on in her life. One evening, just a few days after I returned, Cathy came to me with a bottle of medicine in her hand and asked me to count, how many pills were left. After I counted them, she realized that about thirty pills were missing. She told me that her boy-friend had left her and she felt so depressed that she just kept on taking these pills in an attempt to calm down her emotions. Thank God I had a driver’s license and could drive her in her own car to the nearest emergency room, where she was transferred to the psychiatric ward for a few days. Doctors had diagnosed her as attempting to commit suicide. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I was not ready to buy into talks of spreading love in humanity, because with my own eyes I had seen the reality of the dating culture this celebration stood for.

May be my angle on Valentine’s Day is quite unusual, but it is the one that I have come to experience. So whenever I hear ‘Happy Valentine’s Day!’ I feel like the statement should end with a question mark.