Since the Eid keeps our readers busy in visiting relatives and friends, Hiba magazine brings you suggestions by Dr. Muhammad Abdur-Rahman al-Arifi on holding conversations with people.
People unanimously agree that one
of the ways of attracting others is to choose the topic they would like to
discuss. The Prophet (sa) took this into consideration, and his speech with
young men would be different from that with the elderly, the women or the
children.
Once, a young man Jabir (rta), travelled
with the Prophet (sa) on the Chat ar-Riqa’ expedition, and, due to his poverty, he rode a very
weak camel that could hardly walk.
The Prophet (sa) struck the camel
gently with a whip, and it got up energetically. Jabir (rta) jumped on its back
and went alongside the Prophet (sa). The Prophet (sa) turned to Jabir (rta) to
converse. Jabir (rta), like other young men, was possibly concerned about
marriage and livelihood:
The Prophet (sa) said, “O Jabir,
did you get married?”
He said, “Yes, I did.”
The Prophet (sa) asked, “To a
virgin or to a previously married woman?”
He replied, “Previously married.”
The Prophet (sa) was surprised at
his choice, “Why didn’t you marry a virgin so that you could fondle one other?”
Jabir (rta) said, “O Messenger of
Allah, my father was martyred on the day of Uhud and left nine (orphan) daughters,
who are my nine sisters. I thus disliked to have another young girl of their
age, and instead married someone older than them, so she could be like their
mother.”
The Prophet (sa) realized that he
had sacrificed his own pleasures for his sisters. Thus, the Prophet (sa)
decided to tell an appropriate joke for a youth of his age. He (sa) said, “Perhaps,
when we head for Madinah and stop over at Sarar (five km from Madinah), your
wife will hear of our arrival and lay out the pillows.”
Jabir (rta) said, “Pillows?! By
Allah, o Messenger of Allah, we do not have pillows!”
The Prophet (sa) said, “Insha’Allah,
you will soon have pillows.”
The Prophet (sa) wished to help
him, so he returned to Jabir (rta) and said, “Will you sell me your camel?” Jabir
(rta) thought that the camel was his capital, and even though previously weak,
it had now become strong! However, he thought it rude to reject the Prophet’s (sa)
offer. Thus, he said, “Make an offer, o Messenger of Allah! How much will you pay?”
The Prophet (sa) said, “A Dirham.”
“A Dirham! You are cheating me, o
Messenger of Allah,” replied Jabir (rta).
They continued raising the price,
until it amounted to forty Dirhams, or an ounce of gold.
Jabir (rta) said, “Fine, but on
the condition that I continue to ride it, until we reach Madinah.” The Prophet (sa)
agreed.
When they reached Madinah, Jabir (rta)
went to pray with the Prophet (sa) and tied his camel next to the mosque. When
the Prophet (sa) came out of the mosque, Jabir (rta) said to him, “This is your
camel, O Messenger of Allah!” The Prophet (sa) said, “O Bilal, give forty
Dirhams to Jabir (rta) and more.” Bilal (rta) gave Jabir (rta) forty plus
Dirhams. Jabir (rta) took the money and went away, thinking about what he could
do with it.
The Prophet (sa) suddenly turned
to Bilal (rta) and said, “O Bilal, take the camel and give it to Jabir.” Bilal (rta)
took it and went to Jabir (rta), who was surprised and wondered, if the Prophet
(sa) had cancelled the sale.
Bilal (rta) said, “Take the
camel, O Jabir.”
Jabir (rta) asked, “Why? What’s
the news?”
Bilal (rta) replied, “Allah’s
Messenger has ordered me to give you the camel and the money.”
What wonderful manners! The
Prophet (sa) chose an appropriate topic for conversation with the young man,
and helped him with kindness and compassion.
(This story has been narrated in
a Hadeeth recorded by Bukhari and Muslim.)
Adapted (with permission) from “Enjoy
Your Life” published by “Darussalam”. Compiled for “Hiba”magazine by Bisma Ishtiaq.
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